How Many is Too Many Sexual Partners? #UnifiedFem

UnifiedFem’s Elise Richardson delves into the topic of how many sexual partners we should all be having, and the double standards behind it. Disclaimer, no egos were damaged during the writing of this article.

These days, it’s the question that’s always in the back of our minds when you first start dating a potential partner. ‘Just how many have been in this bed before me…’. I mean, I can only speak for myself but in my opinion if you say you haven’t thought about it, you’re lying.

It’s pretty obvious that men and women have different opinions on this topic – and my inner feminist gets all riled up at the thought. Now, I needed some answers from actual people when writing this article, so I used my undeniable charm and gathered some opinions (a poll, I used a poll).


Not surprisingly, the results were pretty varied.


Most of the women I asked said that there’s no limit on sexual partners for both genders. However, some women did say that they would be put off if their partner had more than 100 notches on their bedpost; more so because they would be worried about risk of diseases. Responses from women were as I expected.


Fella’s, most of us women have a ‘your past is your past’ approach. As long as said past doesn’t come creeping up on us, we can be cool with it! No girl wants to fall out with girls from your past, speaking from experience, it’s not fun, Hun.

The men that I asked had a very different opinion. Behold, a quote from anonymous male #1:

“The penis is on the outside of the body, we don’t have to do much work to have sex. A vagina can get damaged through lots of sex. Therefore, men can have sex more often.” – Anonymous male #1

Did you? No? Ah never mind.

Other responses I received from guys were also the kind of responses I was expecting:

“Obviously, there’s no limit for males. No more than 3 for a girl.”

I’m sorry, what? Is that like, an actual thing? The double standards are SO real.

I’ve gotta hand it to some of them: if a woman has more sexual partners than a guy, they have more to compare it to, meaning… *gasp* that she could’ve had someone better. And that can be so00 damaging for a man’s poor, poor ego.

But, I’m proud to say that some guys have dropped the misogynistic views and agree that women can have higher/equal body counts to men, because you know, we are in 2017.

A theory as to why the double standards exist…

Apparently, there is a semi-serious theory behind why guys think girls should have a low body count. Here it goes…

“Women mostly make the decision to have sex with someone, and they can choose to have sex with everyone or only people that they have a special connection with. A man would usually have sex with anyone if he could, however only women have to deal with the repercussions of disrespect from males because she’s seen as someone who doesn’t value sex as something special and intimate. Yes, it’s a double standard, but equally girls can choose not to respect guys who sleep around and don’t value sex, too.” – Anonymous guy #2.

But let’s remember – Not all men are the same

Anonymous #1 and #2 are not accurate representations how males view a girl’s body count. There are wonderful male feminists out there who are actively fighting for women’s rights – and we salute them! Anonymous guy #3 offers a fresher perspective for us:

“Well, I personally would be put off if a girl had more sexual partners than me, but I don’t think men should automatically be “allowed” to have more than women, we should all be able to do as we please, if you pardon the pun.” – Anonymous guy #3


In my opinion. SEX IS SEX. It is down to personal preference: if you are being safe and careful, and its consensual then why the hell shouldn’t you have multiple sexual partners if you want them? The real answer to this question is that there isn’t a definitive answer. And there never will be. Everyone is different, but what I do know is that both men and women should accept that the opposing gender can enjoy sex, and they don’t need to be disrespected for it.

And as my homegirl Cady Heron once said…


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